Family Traditions, Old and New

This weekend marks the celebration of Passover and Easter for may around the world and like most, we have many memories from our childhood of the holiday celebrations and the traditions that go along with them. I have many fond memories of Easter egg hunts at my grandparent’s house, shopping for a new outfit with a matching hat, and Easter dinner around the dinning room table with my family. Even when I was in college, my grandma still got me an Easter Basket and bunny. Those traditions were carried over to my own children however they are now being replaced with new ones. When I converted to Judaism my family slowly worked out the Easter traditions and replaced them with new Passover traditions. Unlike the traditions of my childhood, these new traditions are original and first generation for my children.

Tonight as we sat at the Passover table, attempting again to complete the Hamilton Haggada, there was a moment where I realized that these traditions were new creations and would be cherished by my children along with the Easter memories of there earlier childhood. The highlight of the Seder was once again the attacking plush plaques that were being tossed around the table with sneak attacks on all who were there. As we make new traditions and the memories attached to them, it warms my heart each year to see my children get excited for Passover and how their participation increases each year as this becomes our new norm.

So why are family traditions so meaningful and important to keep? In many families, these traditions have been passed down from generation to generation and are a way we keep our families alive by preserving these important and meaningful activities. It is also a way that we pass down memories and stories to our children when we teach them about these activities. So what happens when you change the whole narrative that those traditions and memories are attached to? How do you share those with your children when the traditions are not significant to you anymore? Take for example my three children. My two oldest have fond memories of Easter egg coloring and hunts with their families however my youngest has never colored any Easter egg and has only taken part in a handful of hunts. To the two oldest, this is insignificant but to the youngest it is a question every year because the grandparents still celebrate a holiday we do not and have continued those traditions with the grandchildren. Is it unfair to the youngest that the oldest ones had more opportunities for these things?

The truth is is that there is no wrong answer to this because there is not a perfect answer. Is it unfair, no because the youngest has still been able to share in the old and the new traditions of both holidays. As I think about this I am reminded that our new traditions are very special because we are the ones drafting and creating them, our family. These new traditions hold a special meaning because they are original to use and someday, when my grandchildren are sitting at the Seder table, the stories of these early Passover Seders will be told and they will be the ones to continue what we are creating. In many ways this is exciting because we are the ones setting the precedence for the future of this family and how this holiday is celebrated. This year Passover began on Shabbat and was even more special to me because it was my first since my trip to Israel. The events of this story had deeper meaning because now I long for the opportunity to one day take my family to Israel and celebrate Passover there. I think of all those who are celebrating Easter tomorrow and how they may wish that someday they too can celebrate their holiday in Israel where the events of their religion took place.

Traditions, both old and new are important because they keep our family history alive, memories anchored to events of days past, and set the playbook for how we do things in the future. It is a way to stay connected with our ancestors and to remember them during important family celebrations at different points in the year. Family is important. They are our roots and they also are as significant to our past as they are to our future. On this weekend of family gathers and new and old traditions it is important to remember that we all came from somewhere and no matter what, family is where are roots are no matter who we are or where we are. Happy Passover and Happy Easter to all of you and to your families.