Burning the Candle at Both Ends

Life is short but sometimes we try to do too much and end up “burning the candle at both ends” and as a result we wear ourselves down to a point that we have to recover to get moving again. Yes, life is short but do we need to burn ourselves out in order to just live it or are we making too much of what really is not that important? For some, it is just too hard to say no to the many opportunities that present themselves that we want to be involved in but that cause us to stretch ourselves too thin in the process to do this. To others, it is the need to do it all no matter what the cost because you just are not living life if you do not seize every opportunity. So how can we find the balance?

In the first half of my life, I was always burning the candle at both ends because I just didn’t like to say no and second because I wanted to do it all. Instead of enjoying each opportunity and moment I found myself stressed and run down instead of being able to really enjoy and make the most of each opportunity. There are many times I would say yes to something because I felt like if the opportunity presented itself, who was I to not take the opportunity. The end result was always burn out and then physically paying the price by becoming sick and, in some cases, so worn down that I was sick for a week. Physically I was paying the price for my inability to say no to others.

As I got older I realized that by always saying yes and not doing the things I really wanted to do I was actually missing out on more than I would have if I had learned to say no part of the time. By saying yes to everyone, I burned myself to exhaustion and missed more important opportunities that meant more to me in the grand scale of things. My desire to make the most of every opportunity also came from my desire to make everyone happy but many times I ended up being the one not happy for the sake of making others happy. But what made their happiness more important than mine? Would they really have been unhappy if I said no or was it my perception of how they would feel?

What is important to remember is that it is perfectly OK to say no because you have to look after yourself. No one else is going to tell you to slow down or you are doing too much and only you really know how much is too much. For life to be really meaningful we must look at what really makes us happy, what sets our soul on fire, what opportunities would cause regret latter on if we missed it and them decide what is worth our time and energy and what is not valuable to use to put things in perspective. What I realize now is it is OK to say no. It took me a long time to do this and, I have to admit, I am still catching myself at times defaulting to the “yes” answer.

So, is it selfish to look after yourself in this way? The answer is no. Only you know what is really important to you and what you can live without. Many opportunities present themselves to us but it is knowing when to pause, ask ourselves do I really need to do this before responding. It is the reflection that many of us do not make and what leads us to doing too much and wishing we had said no in the first place. By taking the pause to think we can save ourselves time that would be lost to things that really are not that important to us. If we burn the candle at both ends too much we tend to miss out not just on the things that matter more to us but before we know it life has passed very quickly and we are standing on the edge of the shadow of our years wondering where all the days of our lives have gone. Can you afford to burn the candle at both ends? If you really want to make the most of life, take care of yourself, and not miss out on what really matters you can’t afford to take the chance of the wick reaching the middle before you have really enjoyed the light. Take the time, light the candle at the one end and enjoy the light, slowly, so you don’t miss the beauty of that simple glow.